i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
