If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
