im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
