He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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