my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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