We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
