I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
