Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
