Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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