Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Everything about him screamed your future.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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