So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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