By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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