If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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