The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
