nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
