Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
