some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
