His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm at about main and main street
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
