I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
