My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
