she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
