Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
