Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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