Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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