Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
