i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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