Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
