I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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