Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
