having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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