Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
