sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
