Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We have started to decorate penises.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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