Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
