just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
