I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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