trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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