So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
