community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
