My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize