So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
