You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
