She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
