my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
