is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
