Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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