wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
