tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
nutella sex= disaster
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
