i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
