My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
