That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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