My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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