I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
