I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
They have beer where we have blood.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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