I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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